Friday, January 30, 2009

Motherly Love

I found out yesterday that my Great Aunt Evelyn died. This blog is pretty upbeat and I don’t want to bring the room down, but she was 94 and was preceded by her husband several years back. She lived a great life, and I truly believe it was probably time for her to join him. A lot of my family will be coming up tomorrow for the funeral. So being the dutiful daughter that I am, I called my mom to make sure I knew the plan and it resulted in the following conversation:

Me: So what should I wear?
Mom: Something subdued. Black.
Me: Duh, black what though? Like a dress? Won’t it be cold?
Mom: It’s supposed to be 70.
Me: Oh, okay. So a dress… I have a black one with a scoop neck and sleeves, will that work?
Mom: I don’t care as long as it’s clean and not wrinkled.
Me: Awww, I’m so excited that you are finally trusting my fashion choices.
Mom: Well, that's probably because you’re getting older and less hooker looking.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? What kind of mother says that to her only daughter??? She then proceeded to remind about this red mini skirt I had my dad buy me when she was out of town when I was like 12 (did I know how to work it or what? You should have seen my dad’s bewildered face when I told him mom had already seen it and approved… poor guy). When I was 12 everything about me was unattractive, so I guess I figured if I bought a short red mini skirt it might somehow make the rest of me look hot. You can imagine that with my braces, pale skinny legs, and curly afro (this was before straighteners, people!), it didn’t work. At. All. Apparently it just made me look like a really young, unattractive prostitute. And as my mom said “you could see my ass when I walked up the stairs”.


Good to know that I’m finally getting older and less hooker looking.


Dotty said...

awwww! You were not unattractive, just going through that phase where you were trying to figure out who you were. We are so proud you turned into a classy young lady instead of a 5 dollar hooker. (there were some tense moments)

Dotty said...

and,you left out the part about the red micro mini having black racing stripes down both sides,the black spandex top and black patent leather platform heels you wore with it. The red lipstick completed the outfit....any comments?