Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Hey slider... you stink.

It’s summertime which means lots of pool days and lots of time spent in a bikini. This time of year always sneaks up and bites me in the ass and it always seems like I end up waiting until June 1st to realize that I will be parading around Dallas half naked for the next three months. But I digress...

So last night I went to the gym (yay me!) and got on the treadmill. It was shortly after I started that I noticed a faint yucky smell. Kind of onion-y. The gym was packed and there were people on either side of me, so I assumed it was the guy to my left. I kept running and before long that guy left and another one came, but the onion smell remained. Hmm… odd.

About 10 minutes in, I grab my water bottle and take a sip. You guessed it, it’s me. Apparently the onions I had chopped the day before and put in a bowl in the fridge had infiltrated their nasty little smell into everything in the fridge including the paper on my water bottle label. To make matters worse I had the fan on the treadmill on so I was probably blowing the nastiness everywhere in the gym.

Which led me to my next question… I wonder if the people around me a) noticed? and b) thought the gross smell was just me? As in my body odor…. because one would not assume a water bottle would stink and they probably just thought it was seeping out of my pores. Sick...

I can just picture the next time I go to the gym, someone walking up, seeing me on the treadmill and skipping to the one a few machines down because I'm "the girl that smells like onions". Which would be total karma because in college there was this guy in one of my mass comm classes that was of the ethnicity* that tends to cook with curry. And yeah, apparently he loved his native cuisine because he reeked of curry every time he sat down. Did I mention this was a summer session? In Lubbock, Texas? And that he was particularly sweaty? Needless to say, I relocated. Quickly.

Anyways, I figured all I can do is just throw the onions out and perhaps buy my waters at the gym until we go grocery shopping. Or, as a co-worker suggested, maybe wear lots of perfume to prove that I don't really smell. But then I'll be that girl that puts on make up and perfume before working out. Quite honestly, I'm not sure which is worse!

*I am a lover of all people, regardless of ethnicity. However, it is a fairly well known fact that any stinky food consumed in quantity can have less-than-desirable after effects. And while I don't judge, I don't particularly care for curry. To eat nor smell via someone's sweat glands.

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