Monday, April 26, 2010

Marketing Fail!

Dear Petsmart VP of Marketing,

As a member of your loyalty program as well as a marketing professional, I would like to gently suggest that you use your purchasing data to perhaps more efficiently communicate with your core customer base.

I do not and will not ever care to hear about your specials on "fancy rats". Moreover, I am greatly opposed to you insulting my intelligence by attempting to gussy up the species by making it into an oxymoron. Rats are not fancy. Anything that lives in the sewers of New York City cannot possibly be considered fancy. Yes, we all loved the movie Ratatouille, but that is where the line is drawn.

And while we're on the subject, I most likely will not ever again own anything requiring a "Habitat" so please refrain from sending me 15% off coupons for such pet residences as well*.

Invest a little cash into segmenting your online marketing campaigns. I'm sure it would get you much further than your current plan of advertising chew toys to those creepy snake people.

Sincerely,
N

*Yes, I do realize that Frank Sinatra probably lived in what was considered a turtle "habitat", but he was cute and I got suckered in by a combination of feelings of responsibility regarding animal cruelty, peer pressure, and Chinatown haggling.

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