Thursday, October 1, 2009

Wedding Recap - Juicy Edition

Being as close as I am to both Jodi and Matt, I was so excited for them to take the next step and to celebrate their love with all of their closest family and friends. However, it was an emotional day for me from another aspect as well.

Matt had 10 groomsman. I casually dated one of the guys forever ago.... and I not-so-casually dated another one for the better part of the last decade. Also known as the ex-fiancé (or M as we've taken to calling him). There were two groomsman to every bridesmaid and Jodi had joked for the past year that if I wasn't a good maid-of-honor she would have me walk down the aisle with one ex on each arm. Luckily, I held up my end of the bargain and ended up with two of the brothers instead.

M and I have broken up a lot over the years and have been up and down the break-up spectrum from attempted politeness to downright hatred. We ended our engagement somewhere in between. There was a slight incident at Jodi and Matt's shower which probably drove the needle a little further away from the "polite" side of things and that's where we stand. And regardless of where it's been or where we are now, I would say it is virtually impossible to end an engagement or any relationship of that magnitude and expect anything more than civility at best.

In social situations we don't talk. We don't make eye contact. We don't really even acknowledge the 800 lb. gorilla in the room also known as each other. It's a little awkward, especially considering the massive role we've played in each others lives, but I was hell-bent (as was he, I'm sure) to suck it up and make sure the focus of the weekend was where it should be: Jodi & Matt.

To thicken the plot and make this situation even more the stuff good hollywood scripts are made of, Jodi & Matt got married in the church we were supposed to get married in. And the reception was where we had planned on having ours. The first was pure coincidence, the second was not. Jodi was having trouble finding a site, and I loved Hickory Street Annex so much that I suggested she go look at it. She loved it and booked it almost immediately and I was happy I could help.

There were a few interesting moments in the planning process, like doing the slideshow for Jodi and attempting to figure out how to strategically crop myself out of the friend photos that had him in them or vice versa. But the face time was what I was most worried about.

Naturally, the closer it got, the more anxious I got. He has a new girlfriend who I knew would be attending. I am single, and totally fine with that, but you know, it never hurts to show up with a smoking hot date that's just a little taller, smarter, and better looking than the ex. I would be lying if I told you I didn't seriously consider have the fleeting thought to hire a male escort à la Debra Messing in The Wedding Date.
{if I had any sort of confidence that he would have showed up looking like Dermot Mulroney, I can't promise that I wouldn't have drained my savings, in a heartbeat}

I had options I could have taken as dates, but decided that I ultimately would have ended up baby sitting them, or abandoning them in the craziness of MOH duties. So single it was.

And you know what? It wasn't that bad.

My main goal was to be able to lay my head down at the end of the night and think "damn, I was graceful". Which those who know me in person, "graceful" isn't always the best descriptor. I tend to be loud, I tend to speak my mind, and often I tend to drink a little too much wine. Those three things, given the circumstances, had serious explosive potential... so the goal was grace. And I think I accomplished it. And thanks to four inch stilettos, professional hair & make-up, airbrush tanning, and spanx... I think I accomplished it while looking pretty damn good.

I tried to avoid eye contact with him, although my family and friends damn sure didn't. When I started down the aisle it was like they were watching a tennis match. I was told later by them that he watched every bridesmaid walk down the aisle, but the second I walked through the doors, he made it a point to look to the side of the church, the ground, the back of the guy's head in front of him... anywhere but at me. Although, how can you blame the guy? He probably no more wanted to see me walking down the aisle toward him than I wanted to be doing it.

Standing at the altar with a clear shot of him right in front of me was by far one of the most awkward things I've ever gone through. But luckily I was so absorbed with trying to straighten Jodi's gigantic train while wearing a floor-length, skin-tight dress and avoiding a) losing balance in my very impractical choice of footwear or b) splitting my super-tight dress up the back in front of the entire congregation when I bent over, that it provided some comic relief.

The reception went fine as well. We played nice and stayed out of each other's way. The funniest part to me was that Jodi's table numbers were framed cardstock with dates that corresponded with an event in their dating history complete with pictures on each one. The week before the wedding when we were finalizing the seating chart, I looked at M's table to make sure everything was good and noticed that his table date was 10.28.06, the day Jodi and Matt met at a Halloween party. Well, I had helped frame all the dates and knew that date had a picture of Jodi and I on it because I made her come with me to this party where she and her soon to be hubby met. I asked her if she wanted to switch the table number so M wouldn't have to look at my face the whole time he was eating dinner, but apparently everything had already been printed. So at the reception, I go to set my set my purse on our table and notice they are at the table next to ours and had sat right where the framed table number complete with my picture would be facing them. M and his girlfriend had turned it around backwards to where it was facing the back wall. Not surprising, but amusingly childish all the same.

All in all, I survived. In the end I realized that it wasn't worth near the stress that I had put myself through (I lost five pounds in three days because I couldn't eat). And seeing how in-love and right for each other Jodi & Matt are, it also made me realize that I truly did do the right thing when I decided not to make that same walk down the same aisle, toward that same guy, but in a big white dress instead.

And you know what? Cheers to that.

1 comment:

The Waspy Redhead said...

Wow! I can't imagine how uncomfortable that whole experience must have been. You're strong lady!