Thursday, November 3, 2011

On the Lam

For a girl with bad luck occasionally I do get thrown a bone.

Last night I got pulled over on my way to go Christmas shopping. Shockingly, I was not speeding nor driving recklessly- the officer behind me just happened to run my plates and I may have forgotten to take care of a speeding ticket I got in Plano before I left for Europe. Here's what resulted:

Officer: Ma'am, I ran your plates and are you aware you have a warrant out for your arrest?
Natalie: No sir, can you tell me what it's for?
Officer: I don't know, but I need your license, insurance, keys, and cellphone. You are not permitted to make any phone calls until I know what is going on.

Sidenote: Seriously?! What am I going to do to with my phone to hinder his duties? Call a helicopter to come scoop me up? He then proceeds to take my keys and cellphone and sets them on top of my car and goes back to his cop car.

And then it starts raining.

So here I am, not wanting to piss off this officer that I can already tell is taking his job WAY too seriously, looking up towards my roof trying to decide if getting arrested is worth having to replace iPhone #38. After very little deliberation, I decided it wasn't and kept my mouth shut and quietly whimpered in my car while staring helplessly through my sunroof as raindrops splatter against my phone.

Officer (with HUGE amounts of attitude): Alright Natalie, you should to consider yourself VERY lucky. The only reason you are not going to jail right now is because I only have two female officers on duty and they are both busy because of the rain. Do you understand me?
Natalie: Yessir, thank y...
Officer: You need to let me finish.
Natalie: *zips her lips*
Officer: So here's what's going to happen. You are going to go straight home. You do not stop anywhere on the way. You go home and you call the Plano police department immediately and find out what these warrants are for and you take care of them. If I see you OR this car driving around before that's taken care of, I WILL take you straight to jail, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!

And then he wrote me a ticket for my expired registration.

Back in my early years, I would have probably gotten bitchy when I didn't get off with a warning, but as I am now older and wiser, I've learned better.

I thanked him again for not arresting me, asked if I could ask him a few questions about how to renew my registration without the (missing) paperwork and how to find out if I had any other outstanding tickets before I have to renew my license in February.

To make a long story short, when the whole thing was said and done, he gave me instructions on how to renew my registration as well as dismiss the ticket he wrote me, took my cellphone number and ran a complete background check for me when he got back to the station and called me after his shift to let me know that I didn't have anything else out there AND gave me permission to go to Crate & Barrel instead of straight home.

I would call that a successful cop interaction- especially given how mean he was when he first got out of the car!

The scary part is that I had Moose with me, so if they had arrested me, he would have gone to puppy jail as well and there is NO DOUBT in my mind who my mom would have gone to bail out first!

***

Dad, 

If you are reading this, calm down. I have already gone to the Tax Assessor's office this morning and gotten a new registration sticker as well as new license plates for my car. I have everything I need to take to the Plano court first thing in the morning. Breathe. 

Did you breathe? 

Okay good, call you in the morning when I have confirmation that my debt to the society has been taken care of and I am indeed a free woman. 

Love you!
N

2 comments:

Tiffany said...

Ok, I am sorry to laugh....but I am! That is so funny! (simply because you got off..of course!) I'm so glad he calmed down and didn't go all crazy-by-the-books-cop on you!

Wayne Walker said...

I'm seriously afraid that this very nice officer only reinforced otherwise irresponsible behavior! Next time, I doubt that you'll be that luck - one of these days - you're going to go to jail and it's not going to be fun. I promise!!! Skinny, cute little white girl in a cell with . . . well - you fill in the blank!