Thursday, January 5, 2012

Ben's Would-be Bachelorette

Remember these photos that I couldn't tell you the purpose of awhile back

Well, that lil' opportunity didn't quite work out, which means I can now spill the beans!  Those photos were taken to send to the producers of The Bachelor!


I know, I know.... 

So let's just start from the beginning.

Season after season, with each new Bachelor, my friends tell me the same thing over and over... "Natty, you NEED to be on The Bachelor! It would be so fun, you would be great, this it totally right up your alley, DO IT!"

So one wine-fueled night after one of those incessant "DO YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW WANT TO DATE THE NEXT BACHELOR?!  GO TO BACHELOR.ABC.COM RIGHT NOW!" commercials, I took the bait.

I pulled it up out of curiosity and it was only five questions- piece of cake for someone as proficient at tipsy texting as I am. So I answered their five little questions, attached the Facebook Profile Pic Du Jour and called it a night.

I completely forgot about it until about three months later when I sent a weird number to voicemail and got a message from one of the producers saying they got my info and were very interested and would I please call them back. I didn't.

A week later I got another call/voicemail and then after that, an email.

I'm not sure why I didn't call back right away. Have you ever seen a toddler playing with a new toy and they push a button and are so startled when lights start flashing and music starts playing? And they look at you with that scared/shocked/excited smile even though they were the one that caused it? That was so me. I honestly didn't expect anything to happen after I pushed Submit. So when she called it was kind of one of those "Holy shit, what have I gotten myself into?!" moments. I finally decided just to return her call to see what she had to say and go from there.

What followed was several weeks of back and forth, with me jumping through their various hoops.

After our initial conversation, she asked me to send her 15 pictures of myself. Sidenote: WHO has 15 pictures just of themselves other than professional models and high school seniors?!? I definitely didn't, so I just sent her various recent photos of me with friends, but told her that I could probably have a friend take some of just me if she wanted.

She did.

So we did the photoshoot* (thank you, JJ!) and I sent her all of those.

She called back that day and said she loved them and she was sending me an application and release form so they could to do a background check.

I filled out their 5-page application explaining why I was still single, signed my life away and sent it back to her. Apparently that body I dumped in the lake a few years ago didn't show up, because she called back said the app and background check looked great and they were very interested in learning more about my personality.

This is where it gets fun- she asked that I put together a 15-minute video telling them about me. Do you realize how long 15 minutes is?!  SO FREAKING LONG!

I printed off her list of questions, charged up the camera, iced down the booze, and called my girlfriends.

THAT was a fun day. Alex filmed, Erika coached, and Julie made sure my glass of wine was full. It's really funny to compare the footage from the beginning of the day to that from the end of the day.

Let's just say Julie was REALLY good at her job.

So I put my mad iMovie skillz to good use and pieced the whole thing together and shipped it off.  (I thought about putting the youtube video up here for your amusement, but I'm not sure I'm that transparent since I honestly have no idea who reads this little blog and the video gets pretty personal. Although the outtake montage at the end is definitely worth a few laughs.) 

The producer called back a week later and said that they were going to be in Dallas the next weekend and asked if I would come down to meet her in person. And that's where it all kind of went to hell.

She asked me the same questions in-person that she asked me to answer in the video. Not wanting to waste her or my time, I gave her short answers- probably not the best way to convey sincerity and/or interest. And when she asked me what happened with my engagement, I started to tell her that my ex had turned into an egomaniacal asshole, but stopped mid-sentence, made a mental note of the camera in my face, and gave the oh-so-PC answer of "We met when we were 18 and grew into different people." Not exactly the type of looney-tunes answer or lack of self-restraint the producers of The Bachelor were looking for apparently.

My journey to find love sadly ended there in that room.

Looking back, I think it worked out how it was supposed to. I would have missed out on my trip to Florence in October and the timing couldn't have been worse with everything that Bossdad and I had going on at work. Oh yeah- and I saved my family from potential embarrassment caused by bubbly induced cat fights. Can I get an "AMEN" Walkers?!

Part II of my Bachelor adventure post coming up next, also known as "Holy Shit, the Bachelor is BEN?!"


*After the shoot this spring, I strongly urged JJ to start her own photography business. Little did I know she was already considering it and I'm so excited to tell you that she went through with it! She started Greenhouse Studio a couple months ago and is doing incredible work. Check her out if you are in Dallas!


Jesslyn Amber said...

Well that is amazing!!! If nothing else, I bet it was cool to experience all of that!

You kind of resemble Courtney - the rumored winner. However, you're much more beautiful!!! :)

Maggie said...

You are HILARIOUS! I don't watch the Bachelor/ette franchise, but I have to say... I'd totally watch for you! Now here's the point where I say that not getting on the show is totally for the best and that the actual guy you fall for will be a thousand times better suited for you than some network choice... :-)

PS: You are so gorgeous in these photos!

The Waspy Redhead said...

Omgomgomgomgomgomg. I can't even imagine how much I would have freaked out if you were on th bachelor. My love for that show knows no bounds.

Gorgeous shots!

dottywalk said...

After watching the first episode of the show, I'll give you a big double Amen!, I can't imagine being on pins and needles watching you on that show with all the drama! Things really do work out for the best, though it's always exciting to see what adventure you'll come up with next.

Jodi McCauley said...

Thanks for the shout-out love! It's easy to take pretty pictures of such a pretty lady :-)