Monday, May 19, 2014

Baby Thoughts

39 weeks, four days pregnant.

Three days left to go- in theory.  

This dude seems pretty content right where he is. No contractions, no major signs of labor, just the same old story, only larger. 

I have to say that this is one of the strangest feelings in the world. I feel like I am standing in the middle of the road waiting to get hit dead on by a Mack truck. Granted it's a Mack truck full of puppies and nutella and all the things I love but still a Mack truck. 

I know that probably makes me sound like a horrible person to compare this little blessing to being run over by a truck- and please make no mistake- we are SO EXCITED, but the whole concept of your entire life changing so dramatically in an instant is very bizarre. Especially when you have no idea when that instant will occur. 

Everyone asks me if I'm over it, and it's such a hard question to answer. I'm uncomfortable and I'm ready to meet him, but I'm also not "over it" quite yet. I think being 32 and watching a lot of friends go through this gives you a certain amount of foresight to appreciate both the before and after. I don't have the luxury of "ignorance is bliss" because pretty much all my friends have kids and I see firsthand how much it changes your life. So instead of complaining about being uncomfortable, I'm trying to savor the kicks and the fact that I can spend an entire afternoon taking a nap if I want to or the fact that I can meander around Target for three hours without having to worry about anyone else. I know that's all quickly coming to an end, but luckily it will be replaced with something even better. 

I'm really excited to watch Den interact with him and to see what he looks like. I know this is weird, but I hope he has that newborn old man look when he first arrives. And obviously healthy and happy is Goal #1, but I am rooting for a little mini-Dennis. I would love it if he had his skin tone and blonde hair, but more importantly, his kindness and patience. Especially the latter since we all know he's not going to be getting that from me. 

Despite the thousands of thoughts that run through your head at this stage of the game, I think more than anything else we feel grateful. Considering the fact that this wasn't something we planned on happening so soon, we are very grateful for the ability to trust that this is what was supposed to happen, grateful to our families for their support and love despite us jumping the gun a bit, grateful for a relatively easy and healthy pregnancy, and grateful to be given this opportunity that so many people (especially at our age) either aren't given or struggle immensely to obtain. Even though it felt like quite a curve ball (or Mack truck) when we found out I was pregnant, now that we are less than a week out from his official arrival- I can't imagine life any other way. 

Three days and counting. Please keep us in your thoughts as we begin the roller coaster ride of bringing this (now very full term) little guy into the world. Life is about to get interesting!


Wayne Walker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wayne Walker said...

Sorry about the previous comment. I deleted for typos. That's what I get for not proofing.

I'm so happy for you and Dennis. The love that you feel for your family, parents and siblings, the love that you have for each other is amazing and manifest in the birth of your son. What you are both about to experience is a love like that of no other. The love of a child is life changing and unlike any other love.

I'm so happy for you both. Dotty and I can't wait to meet Ethan. More importantly we can't wait to see your eyes - the window to your soul - after you hold him for the first time.

God Bless You Both!!!! Enjoy this and every moment. Prepare to be amazed!!!!


melissa said...

I love your realistic perspective. Being hit by the most amazingly wonderful mack truck is pretty spot on for a how a baby changes your life. I hope the last few days before your son arrives are as relaxing and comfortable. Can't wait to hear that he's been born. Wishing you guys the best!

Samma said...

I second Melissa- you have such a sound understanding of the joys of you life at this very moment. Wishing y'all the best and can't wait to hear about his arrival!